Category: Short story
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College Bowl Crap
I know you are all thrilled that it’s almost time for the 6,974 annual college bowl games that pop up around this time every year. In keeping with that, I am pleased to announce that my very favorite college football team has been selected to play in the West Texas Plumbers’ Local #148 Toilet Bowl.…
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The Flatulent Buckaroos 2023 World Tour
Hey, it’s me again, your old pal and world-renowned idol, John Wayne. I’m back from the dead. You all know that I am way too damn tough to ever die. Anyway, all the little flatulent buckaroos are now full grown, and we are pleased to announce that our band, John Wayne and the Flatulent Buckaroos,…
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John Wayne and the Flatulent Buckaroos
CAUTION: For Mature Audiences Only Those of you who are acquainted with some of my previous posts may remember that I frequently enlist the services of my neighborhood medium/psychic, Madame Tammy Dawn, to conduct scary seances and summon the spirits of the famous and infamous from the ethereal heights or depths of the great beyond…
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How I Won the War with Canada
Those of you who have been reading this drivel lofty tome are aware of the fact that I am now a legitimate write-in candidate for U.S. President, U.S. Senate, or the U.S, House of Representatives. As such, I think it only fitting that I tell you about my history as a highly decorated military hero.…
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Slightly Tarnished Golden Years
There is no sin except stupidity.-Oscar Wilde I won’t say that he was dumber than an ox, but he wasn’t any smarter than one. -James Thurber writing about a classmate at OSU. It is a good thing that he speaks so slowly. It gives his brain a chance to catch up. -Winston Churchill speaking of…
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Rugby Golf
Our guest blogger today is former Professional Rugby Player and well-known sports critic, Mr. Olaf Nootbaar. Olaf, who is apparently as bored with watching endless hours of professional golf on TV as the rest of us, has requested the use of this space to present his revolutionary ideas for improving both the game and alleviating…
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Throwin’ the Hoolihan
This is the story of why I often feel the need for some serious therapy. I did apply to appear on the Dr. Phil show, but his producers told me that my story didn’t fit their current needs. It seems that when I applied, they were looking for sets of twins who had started families…
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The Hal Hall of Fame
The International Hall of Fame for people named Hal has recently become my very first paid advertiser. My payment consists of being the only non-Hal to ever be inducted into the Hal Hall of Fame. This is quite an honor, and it is greatly appreciated. Cash, of course, would have been greatly appreciated, but beggars…
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Lions and Vegans and Cows, Oh My!
My guest writer for today is my old friend, Johnny Wendall Thernglot. Johnny Wendall begged me not to use his name because he is absolutely convinced that if he ever becomes as famous as he quite confidently believes he could be, he is sure that he will be assaulted on a daily basis by the…
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The New Complaint Department
I have been writing this nonsense for a very short time, and I have already received my first complaint. I wonder what took so long. It seems like every other person on the planet is looking for anything they can interpret as being offensive to themselves or their particular cause. Those few of you who…
Brain Wreck 