Brain Wreck

Have you ever dreamed of a place far away from it all where you can view some of the world’s most fantastic scenery while sitting in a cool evening breeze and watching the little ant people far below wading in hot rising ocean water and suffering in the god-awful heat brought on by the “hoax” known as global warming? If this is you, we need to talk.
Hello to all my affluent, trust-funded, or large sum inheriting friends. Perhaps you will remember me. I am Tensing Norgay, the famous Sherpa trekker who led Sir Edmund Hillary up to the summit of Mt. Everest. We, meaning me, were the first people to ever achieve this goal. Of course, Hillary got all the world-wide fame and credit for our achievement. I got twenty bucks U.S. and two goats. I even heard that later Hillary ran for President of the U.S. However, I think I am the real overall winner here because after we came down from Everest, I immediately filed a Homesteader’s claim with the government, and now I, Tensing Norgay, am the sole owner of Mt. Everest. In my country, the government works very slowly. That’s why I just found out about this last Wednesday.
Now then, let’s talk about global warming and my new condominium development which very well could be the investment opportunity of a lifetime for you and your loaded relatives and friends.
But first, let me tell you a little bit about the history of the place. In the language of Nepal, which is Nepali, the name of Mt. Everest is Holy Mother. The name came about when the first resident of Nepal gazed upon the majestic mountain for the first time, immediately fell to his knees, and exclaimed, “Holy Mother!”
Now, about that global warming business. If you have paid any attention to the condition of planet Earth lately, and for those of you who haven’t that’s the one where we live, then you have probably noticed that the place is getting hotter than young Brigitte Bardot (yes, we have recent movies here), and it’s doing it in a hurry. Some days feel like we are all burritos in a giant microwave. Soon every place is going to feel like Death Valley on steroids. That is, every place except the Himalayas. At the present warming rate, Mt. Everest will soon be the most livable place on the planet….and I own the whole dang thing!
Why hang around in Florida until you look like a fried chicken? Come join me in the new Shangri-La. My beautiful condos are available starting at the low, low price of only 50 million U.S. for a luxurious one bedroom, one bathroom, 600 square foot unit with a great view and an eat-in kitchen. Also, depending on the rate of planetary warming, Mt. Everest Shangri-La may become a clothing optional development at some point in the near future.
As an extra added bonus, mimes were outlawed in Nepal in 1967 after a large group of them pretended to be dead from exposure on Everest. This upset the tourists and led to passage of the law. Interestingly enough, they all still mimed being dead even after they were loaded on a cargo plane and shipped back to France. I am not a fan of mimes, but I really admired their dedication to the art.
To reserve your spot in paradise, contact me at the following address:
Tensing Norgay Real Estate Development
711 Elm Street, Apt. 6699
Katmandu, Nepal 44600 00977
email Meltingworldprofitwhore@screwyousiredmund.com

Investors must show proof of income or ownership of healthy internal organs or healthy children.